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You Hurt Me When You...by Keith Cook
"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." Proverbs 15:1
What should we do when we are wronged? How should we as Christians treat those who do really bad things to us? Is there a Christian response or Biblical directive that we should follow? The answer is found in the Bible.
1. Consider Being Patient when someone is hurting you with their words or actions. You can try to overlook their transgression against you and be patient as they grow in understanding. Being patient and not reacting when you are wronged often leads to confession and remorse from the other party.
2. Never Criticize and Complain when wronged. Some join in with the transgressor and actually sin themselves by returning evil for evil and criticizing them to others. Complaining and spreading gossip and slander never helps solve a problem. It simply ignites the flames of anger and pride.
3. Sometimes The Holy Spirit will have you Confront and Instruct. Telling someone the truth in love is hard to do especially when they are doing wrong. Showing the courage to share painful and needed directives from God will often bring people together and help bridge the gulf of indifference and confusion.
4. You may have to also Confess your part in the problem and ask for and offer your Forgiveness first. Saying I was wrong, or please forgive me is hard when you are in the middle of a fight. Yet when confession is made there is a tremendous release of joy and it literally explodes onto the situation at hand. It is so hard to be mad at someone who is saying "I am wrong too! Will you forgive me?"
5. Care and Show Love to those who do you wrong. If you do not care for others you will not even consider letting Jesus direct you as you deal with your hurts and pains. Going to Christ always helps you get the strength to show love and forgiveness when wronged.
When I was a young boy in school I was confronted by a very large and menacing young man. Right in the middle of the hallway he grabbed my shoulder, spun me around, and very loudly yelled, "Cook, I'm going to knock your head off!" As you can imagine everyone in the hallway quickly formed the inevitable circle around us to watch the fight. He was big and tall and I was a tough football player at school. This was going to be the fight of all fights.
As I looked up into his eyes and saw the anger in his heart I realized that this could go on for days. In s split second I cried out to God. I asked Him what to do, and came up with the following solution. With the entire school now looking on I strongly said to my confronter, "You probably could knock my head off. But as my head rolled down the hall it would be saying, God loves you and I forgive you."
It seemed like all the world stood still. After what felt like eternity he replied, "Cook, you're crazy!" Then he patted me on the shoulder, laughed, and walked away.
There are times to fight and times to retreat. There also are times to stand your ground and wait on God's provision.
Caring and showing love when others are only spewing anger will help you down the road to a clean heart and a clear conscience.
6. Be Cautious and careful when reacting to wrongs done to you or to others. Many times the reaction we have will cause more harm than the offense committed. A good rule of practice is to never react in the flesh or to others. Always act! Act on what you know you should do. Act on what Jesus has told you to do. Act in confidence because you are following the Bible's instructions for living.
7. Compassionately Restore the one who has wronged you as fast as possible. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath. When you act under the direction of the Holy Spirit and let Him lead you, you can be used of God to lovingly and humbly help bring a person out of a state of rebellion and sin into a position of forgiveness and restoration. Just by allowing someone to come and ask for your forgiveness can bring healing and stability to their lives. When you do not hold a grudge or plot for revenge you can also be an instrument of grace that God will use to bless all associated with the offense.
Daily Prayer: Pray for the strength and courage to respond patiently when others wrong and criticize you. Pray for those who have wronged you today. Pray for God to bless them and heal your heart and theirs.
On The Go Prayer Focus: On The Go¹s USA Outreach Effort. God has placed a United States effort on the heart and mind of the On The Go Team. Three key objectives are sharing, praying, and training in every county in the USA using On The Go Advance Teams, Training Teams, Planning Teams, Prayer Teams, GoTeams, and Outreach Efforts.
Thank you for taking the time to pray for this important division of On The Go Ministries. For more information on any our ministries here at On The Go, you may send your questions to info@onthego.org.
Copyright (c) 2006, 2010 Keith Cook - On The Go
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